


Where No War Can Sleep

by justalittlegreen



Series: Sunshine and Filth [11]
Category: MASH (1970), MASH (TV)
Genre: Hawkeye's Nightmare, M/M, Nightmares, PTSD, Se05Ep14, Trauma, hunnihawk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-20 23:05:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16564823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justalittlegreen/pseuds/justalittlegreen
Summary: Takes place in the episode Hawk's Nightmare. BJ knows how to help.





	Where No War Can Sleep

For all the weeks to be on the same shift as Frank, BJ thinks bitterly to himself after settling Hawk down for the night. He knows that he could help with the nightmares, knows that he could try and spare Hawk the worst of it, but he can't do what needs to be done with that ferret-faced weasel in the corner. So he settles for leaping out of bed every time Hawkeye begins to shout, and calmly explaining his nightmares to him. It's a relief when Sidney Freedman comes to camp, because BJ hardly trusts anyone with Hawk's mind and spirit, but that wise little shrink knows more than Hawkeye's willing to let on, and BJ is so grateful for the help that he lets himself take a nap while Hawk and Sidney walk after the poker game.

It's a light sleep, though - his eyes fly open as soon as he hears them coming back to the tent. He hears Hawkeye thanking Dr. Freedman, making a joke about his poker and basketball skills, and as Hawkeye heads into the Swamp and flops on his cot dejectedly, Sidney peeks in after him.

 _Er...Major Burns?_ Sidney begins, his tone inoccuous, deferential, gentle.  _I was wondering if -_

 _wondering **what**? _ Frank squawks. _There's nothing in my mind that should give you any cause to wonder, you headshrinking  -_

 _Colonel Potter offered me a spot in the guest tent,_ Sidney cuts in smoothly, as if Frank hadn't said a word.  _I'll be heading out tonight, but I thought it might be nice for you to have an uninterrupted night of sleep. It must be awfully trying with what Hawkeye's going through -_

which is all he gets out before Frank is out the door, a cackling bundle of linens who can't believe his luck. Sidney sighs and smiles just a little and turns to Hawkeye and BJ.  _Some things are just too easy. Goodnight._

 _Goodnight,_ they reply in chorus as the door closes. Hawkeye flops back onto his cot and runs his hands through his hair.  _I can't do it, Beej. I can't face another night like this. It's torture, I'm telling you . I sleep to escape the war, and the war invades my sleep! It's just an endless parade of blood, gore and guts and - I'm cracking up. Even Sidney didn't deny it._

BJ sits with his elbows on his knees, leaning towards Hawk and listening intently.  _Why don't you come over here?_

_What do you mean? I'm so exhausted I can hardly move. You're going to have to set me on fire to -_

he looks over to see BJ gazing at him with a mix of love, concern and - even in this place - a flicker of lust makes it into his smirk.  _Set you on fire? Oh, I think I have some patented ways of stoking your flames, mister._

 _That's not fair,_ Hawkeye protests weakly.  _I'm a psych case and you're too handsome for me to handle in my delicate state._

_Hawk. Come. here. I have an idea._

He knows that tone. Hawk drags himself off the cot and flops down next to BJ, falling over sideways with his boots still on the floor. He feels BJ shifting around and opens one eye to see BJ kneeling at his feet, unlacing his boots. He carefully lifts Hawkeye's feet into bed and covers him with a blanket as tenderly as he does any other night, only this time, instead of heading across to the other cot, he slips in behind Hawkeye. 

 _S'been a minute since we've been in this particular arrangement_. Hawk mumbles, eyes already closing, already slipping into sleep.

BJ props himself up on his elbow and strokes Hawkeye's hair.  _Easy now, Sleeping Beauty. I'll wake you in a hundred years._

_You'd better let me brush my teeth first._

As Hawk drifts off, BJ stokes the fire in the stove and gets out his book. He's not planning to sleep tonight.

**

 

 _Wasn't_ planning to sleep tonight. BJ's nodded off despite himself, but wakes as soon as Hawkeye begins to stir against his chest. BJ waits, counting breaths, hoping Hawk will settle himself back into sleep. He remembers the nights after Erin was born, how he laid beside the bassinet, holding his breath every time she moved, every time she  _didn't_ move for too long, and it's the same worry that settles over him now - not the deep-bone fear that someone he loves is in danger, but the tender ache of worry that never completely fades. 

Hawk isn't settling down. He's starting to rock back and forth and mumble, and BJ knows this is his last chance. He places his hand firmly on Hawk's sternum and shakes him slightly.  _You're okay, Hawk. I've got you. You're okay,_ he croons, starting at a whisper and getting up to a murmur until Hawk's eyes open. 

_Beej?_

_I'm right here._

_I was with this kid - and we were sledding down a hill and -_

_Just a dream, Hawk. Now you go back to sleep and I'll be right here the whole time._

Hawk rolls over to face him, leaning up on one elbow.  _You woke me up before it got bad._

BJ nods. Hawk closes his eyes and hunkers down as best he can, given the space.  _Beej?_

_Yeah?_

_Would you_

 

_Hawk?_

 

_Would you_

 

_whatever it is, I would._

 

Hawkeye's voice comes out in such a small whisper BJ can hardly hear it.  _Would you hold me while I sleep? Or try to sleep?_

BJ feels something shatter inside him, small and so deep he nearly starts to cry.  _Of course._

 

Hawkeye wakes twice more before sunrise, and each time BJ eases him through it, rubbing his back or chest and talking low as Hawk's pulse comes back to normal. The last time, Hawk doesn't even wake fully, but does manage to throw a leg over BJ's hips and cling to him like a koala. BJ doesn't mind the sweat, or the way his arm went numb hours ago. The only thing that matters is that Hawkeye can sleep in his arms, that he can fend off the war for just enough hours to get his best friend back.

As the birds begin to bring on the morning, Hawkeye stretches and rolls off the cot. BJ is awake instantly, peering over the edge, and Hawkeye breaks into a smile to see the way he's anxiously hovering.  _Just the latrine, Beej. I promise. No basketball. It's 1951, I'm in Korea, and you are the most beautiful sight I've seen since the last time I woke up._

BJ notices with a chuckle that he grabs his toothbrush on the way out.

When Hawkeye returns, he's climbs back in with BJ, who has nodded off, and kisses the top of his head. BJ looks up, bleary-eyed but satisfied. They made it through the night. 

Hawkeye sighs, deep and guttural, rubbing BJ's back.  _I haven't felt this good in weeks._

BJ beams against Hawk's neck, kissing him softly.  _I'm glad_. 

_You know, we can't do this every night. Frank can't stay away forever._

_I know. But we probably have another hour or so before the rest of the world catches up to us._

_Mmm. And I think I know how we should spend it._

Suddenly, despite the many interruptions in his night of sleep, BJ is wide awake.  _Hey, Hawk?_

_Yeah?_

_would you -_

 

_would I?_

 

_would you -_

 

_ravish you tenderly until the war ends? I'd love to._

 

 

~fin~


End file.
